The Story Starts Here

Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite.

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t follow the dreams I have just in case it looks weird to other people, or in case it looks like I’m copying someone.

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​But today I figure that I should be allowed to be myself – whoever the hell that is.

So here goes, this is me. And this is what I dream.

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I’m Rachael.
I grew up in the glorious English countryside and spent long summer days walking the fields either by myself or with friends.  
I’m a romantic and a dreamer and a lover of literature.
I used to read A LOT. And I used to write a lot. Angsty teen poetry and then some not-so-angsty short stories that actually weren’t half bad. I also wrote a large chunk of a novel between the ages of 15 and 18 before promptly losing the whole thing when my USB stick broke during my first year at uni.
Back up your work, folks. That’s all I’ll say about that one.

I also spent a lot of my time taking photos, and on most of those walks I used to go on, I was accompanied by my mum’s camera, which I would borrow on the sly.

"It forced me to look
​ for something beautiful"

​It’s been my escape for a very long time… and recently I was able to finally put my finger on WHY.
Throughout my adolescence, and sometimes still as I venture into my twenties, I’ve struggled with depression. On and off, but my longest spate in one go was about four-and-a-half years.
It was photography that helped me to cope with that. It was the conscious creation of something beautiful. It always will be.

Even when my mind took me to some of the darkest spaces I’ve ever been, it forced me to see the light. It forced me to look for something beautiful. To make something beautiful. I can’t describe to you the gratitude I have for that, nor the love I will always bear for this simple little activity.

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​I went to university at 18 like a lot of people end up doing.
There, I studied journalism, which made me a very different version of myself. I’ve always described myself as one of those people who lives in the balance between grace and fire. Journalism fuelled that fire, and there wasn’t as much room for the grace.

​Don’t get me wrong, I love that side of me. It’s been part of who I am since I was a child. It’s made me strong when I’ve had to be, and it’s the source of my determination and perseverance.  

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But – and I suppose this is where I get to the point of this post – I guess what I’m trying to say is that I just want to be a little more like that romantic little dreamer I lost at 18.

I want to focus on the beauty and the joy of life.
I want to write again, and read more again, and take photos again.
I want to do it for myself – because it makes me feel good, and believe in good, in a world which (right now) doesn’t look so pretty.
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But most of all, I want to do that without fear of what other people might think. 

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So here I am - that's me. In all my messy glory. This is where this next story beings - and where I launch Rachael Lowes Photography.